very interesting site...

Feminists for life

I signed up for their "Pro-woman answers to Pro-choice questions" email, should be interesting.

"when I'm weary of considerations..."

-a selection from Robert Frost's "Birches"

So was I once myself a swinger of birches;
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate wilfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree,
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

how sweet the sound...

I have come to realize that I am not the kind of person who handles conflict well. When people that I love are at odds with one another I get all tense. I have this "save the world" complex, and although I know that I cannot solve all the problems of the people I care about, it is not always how I feel.

Perhaps my view of forgiveness is incredibly naive. Maybe it's just that I have learned about forgiveness the hard way. There have been people in my life that have done things that they were never going to apologize for, and I had to forgive them anyway. It seems like a lot of people don't realize that forgiveness has nothing to do with the person that you are forgiving: it has everything to do with you. Forgiving someone does mean that you are saying they are right, or what they did was okay; it's saying that you are not going to carry the heavy yolk of resentment any farther.

I had a good friend who I had been close with since Kindergarten. One day in June, her brother took an axe and killed both her and her mother. When I say that I have forgiven him, I do not say that lightly, nor do I mean that I find what he did acceptable in any way. When I say that I forgive David, I mean that I have made a conscious decision to lay down the burden of hate and anger. Forgiveness is about making things right in your own heart. It will not change what happened, it will not change the person that you are forgiving, but it will change you.

I am not perfect. I have held short grudges and said hateful things; however, I always come back to the over-whelming power of grace. How often we forget Matthew 6:14-15: "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." This is something that we hear frequently, and I'm sure most of us could quote it, but as Victor Hugo said: the law of Jesus Christ governs our society, but it does not yet permeate it. We know it our heads, but not yet in our hearts.

I know that it is far more difficult to forgive the person who has hurt someone you love than it is to forgive the person who has hurt you, but ease has never been a mark of forgiveness. It takes work. Sometimes you have to remind yourself everyday that you have forgiven someone. The feeling of peace does not always come right away, but it will come eventually. I am the person that I am today because of the forgiveness I have shown, but more so because of the forgiveness that has been shown to me. None of us deserve grace, which is why we all so desperately need it.

Feeling somewhat distant.

Fidelity
I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

And suppose I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better

I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
Breaks my heart
Breaks my heart

-Regina Spektor

Complaint.

Does anyone else think it's odd that my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend takes him out to dinner (just the two of them) and that she is the one who takes his dog to the vet (it just occured to me as I was writing that this probably means she has a key to his house) and that they go out to visit couple friends of theirs - or is it just me?

Leonard Nimoy's Ballad of Bilbo Baggins

This is the greatest thing I've seen in a long time. Wow.

The Tummy Rebellion

That's it. My stomach and I are no longer on speaking terms. It's threatening to move out. Well, if it thinks it can do better, then it's free to leave. I mean, I give it Kashi cereal and soy milk. I never make it eat fast food. I even treated it to a brownie last night, and this morning it started complaining as soon as I was done with breakfast. Ick. Maybe tomorrow I'll avoid actually food and just drink tea.

with great pride...

It's time for me to brag on Jason a little. He and a few of his friends have been working for several years at starting up a production company (Outsiders Productions). I really like what they are doing. After tagging along with them to a couple of film festivals I have a great deal of respect for the way that they all put themselves out there in pursuit of their dream.

Now their first film, Looking For Hope, has been reveiwed by a website called Film Threat. The film is also featured on the popular website IMDb. I'm very excited for them. It makes me proud to see them getting some the recognition they have worked so hard for and certainly deserve. Be sure to check them out.

Support your local independent film makers!

Sheridan the Cosmetics Girl

I recently started selling Arbonne. I never really pictured myself as the cosmetic salesgirl type, but here I go. I really like the product (years of chemical peels and dermatologist prescribed lotions didn't help my skin as much as Arbonne's skin care system has). So I am embarking on a new venture. Wish me luck!

Just in case you're wondering, soon I'll be putting in the last of my orders for this month. If any of you, my gentle readers, are interested please let me know as soon as possible. Of course, I can take orders anytime, but I'm trying to meet my goal for the month. There are also a couple of great specials I can tell you about.

Is this shameless self-promotion on my blog? Maybe. Are most of the friends who read my blog guys? Probably. (Though they should keep in mind that Arbonne has a great heath & wellness line as well as a men's skin care line.)

Here's hoping this business venture pays off.

Conviction.

Blessed are the poor in spirit
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for rightgeousness
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers
for they will be called the sons of God.
Blessed are those who are perescuted because of rightgeousness
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.


I say that I believe this, but how often is it really evident in my life? These are not easy things, and my flesh strives against such unnatural behavior. I want to be the kind of person who exemplifies these traits so that others can see in me a glimpse of what I see in Jesus, but I fall short of this goal daily. I want to do better. With God's help, I will do better.

take me out to the ball game.